When everything feels overwhelming
Sometimes there is so much happening at once that you lose sight of where to begin.
One concern leads to another. You think about decisions that need to be made, what needs to get done, and what might go wrong. Everything feels urgent, and you can’t tell what needs your attention first.
You may feel like you’re drowning in it all. You try to think your way through, but the more you think, the more confused and paralyzed you feel. The next thing you know, you’re stuck, unsure of what to do next.
When everything feels overwhelming, therapy gives you space to slow down, sort through what’s happening, and figure out what needs your attention next.
You might notice yourself:
Sometimes you can identify exactly what is overwhelming you. Other times, you only know that everything feels like too much.
You don’t have to understand it all before asking for help.
How therapy can help
In therapy, we slow this process down together.
We might start with a recent moment when you felt overwhelmed: what was happening, what was going through your mind, and what felt difficult to decide or do.
From there, we begin separating the pieces. What demands are you facing? What are you worried might happen? Are other factors making an already difficult situation feel even harder?
Some situations involve more than you can manage on your own. Others become harder to navigate when worry, perfectionism, or the fear of making a mistake adds another layer of pressure.
Understanding what is contributing to your overwhelm helps us decide where to begin.
When everything feels equally important, it can be difficult to prioritize.
Together, we look at what needs a response now, what can wait, and what may be outside your control. We identify where you have choices and what information or support could help.
We return to questions such as:
You don’t need to resolve every concern before addressing one part of the situation.
When overthinking makes things feel worse
Thinking things through can help you make decisions.
But you may reach a point where you’re replaying the same scenarios, imagining what could go wrong, and searching for a sense of certainty that never seems to arrive.
Instead of gaining clarity, you feel more stuck.
With a practical, collaborative approach grounded in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), we explore how your thoughts, feelings, and responses interact. You learn to recognize when thinking is helping you solve a problem and when it is keeping you caught in worry.
You can learn to make decisions using the information available while allowing some uncertainty to remain. Part of therapy involves learning to tolerate discomfort without letting it keep you from moving forward.
Once the situation becomes clearer, we work out what to do next.
That may look different for each person. It could involve breaking an overwhelming task into smaller, more manageable steps, having a difficult conversation, setting boundaries, or finding ways to take something off your plate. It may also mean adjusting an expectation or deciding that something can wait.
The plan takes into account the demands of the situation as well as your responsibilities, needs, and capacity. As you take each step, we consider what is helping and make adjustments as needed.
You may still experience difficult emotions as you begin making changes and addressing what is contributing to your overwhelm. There is room for those feelings in our work.
You don’t always need to get rid of discomfort before you can move forward.
We practice making room for difficult feelings without allowing every emotion or worried thought to determine what you do next. Over time, you can learn to recognize when overwhelm is building, pause, assess what is happening, and choose how you want to respond.
Therapy can help you recognize the choices available to you, feel more confident in your ability to respond, and regain a sense of control over your life.
What can change
Therapy can help you:
How I can help
I’m Dr. Vanessa Gomes. I provide practical, collaborative therapy for people who feel overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure of what to do next.
In our work together, I’ll help you slow things down, understand what is contributing to the overwhelm, and identify manageable steps forward. My approach is grounded in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and adapted to your needs, circumstances, and goals.
You don’t need to arrive with everything figured out. We can begin with what feels difficult right now.
It can feel like having more to respond to than you can sort through. You may be busy all day and still not know what matters most. Even a small request can feel like too much when you’re already stretched thin.
Your body can feel it too. Physical symptoms like muscle tension, headaches, or poor sleep are common when your nervous system stays on alert. I want to understand what this looks like in your daily life, because it shows up differently for everyone.
The demands on you may have changed, or several difficulties may have built up without much time to recover. Something you handled before can feel harder alongside new responsibilities, constant worry, or pressure at work. One more small thing can trigger the feeling that it’s all too much. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Left alone long enough, it can turn into burnout.
Together, we look at what has changed and what expectations you’re trying to meet. The goal is to understand your situation before adding another task or technique to your list. Resilience usually comes back once the full picture is clearer.
Not always. That word describes how an experience feels. Stress usually relates to the demands in front of you, while anxiety can keep going even when there’s no immediate problem to solve. Anxiety and stress often show up together, and both can make it hard to settle or concentrate.
I also offer anxiety therapy. If persistent anxious thoughts keep pulling your attention toward what might happen, even after you’ve handled the immediate problem, anxiety therapy can help with that pattern. We also look at the demands that need a practical response.
Sometimes it’s situational anxiety, tied to one stressful stretch of life. Other times, it sits on top of chronic anxiety or an anxiety disorder. That might be generalized anxiety disorder, with chronic worry about many things at once. It might be social anxiety in social situations, panic attacks or panic disorder, a phobia, or health anxiety. For some people, obsessive compulsive disorder is part of the picture, with intrusive thoughts, an obsession that won’t let go, and a compulsion, ritual, or other repetitive behaviors that take up time and energy. CBT is used to treat all of these, including gradually approaching anxiety-provoking situations you’ve been avoiding. We can look at whether anxiety symptoms are adding to what you’re carrying, and whether anxiety counseling or a broader anxiety treatment plan makes sense.
Yes. I also help with depression and trauma, and we can talk about those concerns if they’re part of what brings you in. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean either one is part of your experience, and you don’t need to decide which label fits before we talk.
We keep the focus on the support for overwhelm you came in for, without assuming every concern has the same explanation.
It’s worth reaching out if feeling overwhelmed keeps getting in the way of your day, leads you to avoid things, or affects your daily functioning in ways the mental health support you already have isn’t easing. You don’t have to wait until every part of life is affected. Having trouble deciding what to do next is reason enough to look for help for overwhelm.
I’d want to hear what feels hard and what you’ve already tried. Then we can decide together whether my practical, collaborative approach fits what you need.
Many anxiety therapists and anxiety counselors also work with this. Whether you’re looking for a therapist specializing in overwhelm or someone who works with stress more broadly, look for someone who can explain how they’d help with what you’re describing and who welcomes questions about their approach. A title alone can’t tell you whether sessions will feel useful. You should understand what you’re working to change.
If you’re looking for therapy for overwhelm with a licensed psychologist, I’m a New York licensed psychologist and Beck Institute CBT Certified Clinician. My approach is practical and compassionate, and it focuses on understanding the situation, noticing unhelpful thought patterns, and finding manageable next steps. You don’t need to arrive with a complete explanation.
It can be, but the changes and the time involved vary. Fit matters, including whether the approach makes sense to you and addresses what you want help with. I use evidence-based approaches and adapt our sessions to your needs, your daily life, and your circumstances.
We look for practical signs of change, like making a decision you’ve been putting off or noticing worry before it takes over an afternoon. We also check whether the coping skills we practice are useful between appointments. A busy week doesn’t mean nothing is changing.
When you notice what tends to trigger that flooded feeling, pause and name the one problem that needs your attention, rather than trying to answer every concern at once. Write down the demands you’re facing, and separate a next step from a question you can’t settle yet. Keep that step small enough to be realistic.
If overthinking keeps pulling you back through the same possibilities, we can look at that pattern together. I also use mindfulness and simple ways to settle yourself, which can help you regulate your body and return to what you’re doing. These therapy techniques are practical tools, not another list of things you feel you should do.
No. You can start with a recent moment that felt hard, even if you can’t explain why it affected you. I’ll ask about what was happening, what you were thinking, and what felt hard to decide or do.
You can also tell me if something feels hard to talk about. We’ll go at a pace that feels manageable. My style is empathetic and collaborative, and you don’t need to share every detail at once.
If our sessions leave you feeling more overwhelmed, I want you to tell me. We can look at what felt like too much, whether the focus was useful, and whether the next steps fit what you’re already carrying.
There’s always room for questions and feedback. If the approach doesn’t feel like a good fit, we talk about it directly. Your discomfort isn’t something you simply have to put up with.
There’s no fixed number of sessions. It depends on what’s contributing to it, what you want to change, and how the steps we discuss fit your life. Some people come in for one specific situation. Others want to work on patterns that keep showing up.
As we meet, we look at what’s helping and what still needs attention. Decisions about continuing are based on your goals, not a deadline for feeling completely different.
I’d want to know what helped before and what stayed hard. Maybe you understood your reactions but still weren’t sure how to make a decision, push back on an unrealistic demand, or handle worry between appointments. Those details help us figure out what you need now.
We can talk about how my approach would fit where you are now. Past experience is part of your story, but it doesn’t mean this time has to go the same way.
Yes. Even when some work demands aren’t going away, there are usually parts of the situation where you have choices. That might mean deciding what can wait, asking for support, or looking at the expectations feeding burnout. I won’t assume you can simply drop responsibilities that matter to you.
The plan has to fit your whole life, including what you’re carrying outside of work. In overwhelm counseling, we look at what happens during a hard week and whether the steps we discuss are still manageable. The goal is to protect your quality of life and wellness without treating every demand as something you have to handle alone.
Yes. As an overwhelm therapist in Port Jefferson, NY, I see people in person at my office near the Port Jefferson LIRR station, in the building with the pillars. Many people also come from nearby Port Jefferson Station, Stony Brook, Setauket, Miller Place, and Mount Sinai. Online sessions are also available throughout New York State.
If you’re coming in person, there’s plenty of parking right by the building, and bus route 62 stops at N Country Rd and Oakland Ave. If getting to the office feels like one more thing on a full week, we can talk about which format fits you best before you decide.
I accept Aetna. I don’t accept Medicaid plans or other insurance in-network. For other insurance plans, I’m an out-of-network provider, and I can give you a superbill to submit to your insurance company for possible reimbursement. It’s a good idea to call your insurance company first to check your out-of-network mental health benefits. A Good Faith Estimate is also available on request.
Find a clearer way forward
When you’re overwhelmed, asking for help can feel like one more task. You can begin by sharing what feels difficult, even if you don’t yet have the words to explain it fully. It’s okay if you’re unsure where to begin or what the problem is.
Together, we can begin sorting things out.
In-person therapy in Port Jefferson and online therapy throughout New York State.
Please note — The only insurance I accept is Aetna and my rate is $250/session.
